what the quiet brings out in me.

As I sit here and type this tonight, all alone, in the quiet, nothing but the sound of the humidifier humming in the bedroom, and the sound of the occasional barking cough, I once again, like I have been a lot lately, find myself deep in thought. I love the sound of quiet. I love this time of night when all is still and I can just think. I feel like a lot of emotions have been so close to the surface this past little while, and I am feeling this overwhelming feeling of gratitude that I just can't shake, and I feel like I need to share what is going on in this head of mine.
I really want my children to know that I am so grateful to be a mother, especially to them. I don't deserve such awesome kids. I have amazing kids that are such an example to me on a daily basis. I swear that they were sent here, equipped with these incredible spirits just for my benefit. I am overcome, and I am so grateful for the many things that they do for each other, and for the people around them, and when I see them being and doing the things that I should be doing, it makes me feel again and again, that they are here just for me. I am so proud of the people they are, and I love them with all my heart, and I can't imagine my life without THEM in it.
Secondly, have I mentioned lately how in love I am with my wonderful husband? I have such an awesome man to spend eternity with. I am so grateful that he loves me the way that he does, but more importantly, I am grateful for the choices that he has made in his life that has turned him into the man he is today. Our marriage is not always perfect, and I would hate to leave the impression that we haven't had our fair share of struggles, but thank goodness we have always managed to put our own pride aside and remember what we have loved in each other for the past 20 years. I love him with all of my heart, and again, can't imagine my life without HIM in it.
Lastly, I can't imagine my life without the gospel and my testimony of my savior. What would I be and what would I be doing without the choices that my incredible parents made years ago. I would like to think that I would have figured things out for myself, but who knows. Without that memory of being in the temple as a small girl and being sealed to my eternal family, that memory driving me and reminding me of what I wanted out of life, would I have chosen that path that was laid out before me? I do have amazing parents that planted seeds and helped my testimony grow and I am so grateful for the examples they have been to me in my life.
That's it. These are the things that bring me so much joy. This is me. These three things are the things that make me who I am, they define me. I feel so very blessed in my life, but at the very same time, I find myself feeling like I don't deserve all the blessings that I have. How can it be that I am so fortunate, when I am no more deserving than others in my life that don't have all that I have?
I am overcome with gratitude.